I Need Your Help
Carolyn’s Shade Gardens is a retail nursery located in Bryn Mawr, PA, specializing in showy, colorful, and unusual plants for shade. The only plants that we ship are snowdrops and miniature hostas. For catalogues and announcements of events, please send your full name, location, and phone number (for back up use only) to carolyn@carolynsshadegardens.com. Click here to get to the home page of our website for catalogues and information about our nursery and to subscribe to our blog.
On December 26, 2010, in New Year’s Resolution to Edit the Garden, I wrote about being inspired to edit my garden (and life) by my friend Kartik’s decision to simplify his life after visiting his family in India. The post really struck a chord with numerous comments, 107 picks on Blotanical by 33 garden bloggers around the world, and several links. I am writing to you now because three days after I posted, Kartik’s 5-year-old daughter, Tara, was diagnosed with leukemia. She is in the hospital right now for a minimum of 5 weeks receiving chemotherapy and will need two years of chemotherapy after that.
Kartik and his family have a long, hard road ahead of them, and I would like to ease their trip in even a very small way if I can. But how to do that? And then I read Allan Becker’s powerful post in which he describes garden bloggers as a “supportive social group that swarms around its members when they need to be comforted, validated or encouraged.” I hope and believe that what Allan says is true because I am appealing to you to help me provide a small amount of comfort to Tara and Kartik, whom I made part of our community through my original post.
Kartik says the hardest thing for him is when Tara starts acting wild from being confined to a hospital bed 24/7: difficult for an adult but impossible for a five-year-old. I would like to do something to provide a few moments of distraction for Tara every day. With Kartik’s permission, I am asking everyone who reads this post and feels moved to send Tara a card representative of your home state in the US or your country. Opening her mail from you will be a welcome relief, and I intend to send her a map of the world with sticky stars to mark the location of every card she receives.
Address: Tara Patel, 2216 Oakwyn Road, Lafayette Hill, PA 19444, USA.
My hope is that you will do this if you feel moved but not feel an obligation. Your unwritten thoughts and prayers are welcome too. If bloggers want to publicize my request among their blogging friends that would also be welcome.
Every day I try to focus on how lucky I am and avoid getting bogged down in the little set backs of life. I am not usually successful, but Kartik’s inspirational approach to life and the way he is handling his daughter’s illness will keep me focused for a long time now.
Thank you,
Carolyn
CAROLYN'S SHADE GARDENS 
January 5, 2011 at 2:43 pm
oh god, Carolyn I’d be very happy to send, what a wonderful idea, may their god bless them, Frances x
January 5, 2011 at 3:02 pm
Thank you so much for responding so positively, Frances. To be honest, because I am new, I was a little nervous that I might be overstepping some blogging line. But then I thought, I don’t care, I’m doing it anyway. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 3:08 pm
Carolyn I’m glad you did, Frances
(no one is made to view anything they don’t want to they can move to another site or hit the delete key,)
January 7, 2011 at 2:14 am
Overstepping a line? Certainly not. This entry is very moving, and I would have read it and then moved on through the internet, were it not for the fact that this echoes the letters and e-mails I send to my dad who is also a bit under the weather with a bout of cancer. I write 10 lines of quotidian life, however interesting it may be, and according to my mum he relishes the chance to experience something outside his confined little world.
My dad’s an old man, so I can only imagine that a child would be even more in need of random contacts from the world outside. Tara will definitely get a postcard from Denmark as soon as I find a pretty picture for her.
January 7, 2011 at 11:14 am
Thanks for sharing your story about your Dad, Soren. I am sure Tara will love to hear from Denmark. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 3:01 pm
Thank you, Carolyn, for giving us an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life.
January 5, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Allan, You were instrumental in getting me to go through with the idea. Thanks for your support, Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 4:12 pm
What a wonderful idea. I’m in.
January 5, 2011 at 5:08 pm
Thanks for keeping up the momentum. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 5:21 pm
From the moment you emailed me on this I was very happy to help you and Tara. I will add your URL to my posts each day I am posting on Niagara Falls in Winter. I wish the family well and hope Tara gets healthy from her treatments. And I will send her a postcard from here to wish her a full recovery.
January 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm
Donna, You have helped me negotiate the blogging world so many times I can’t count them, and I appreciate you encouraging me to do this post. If Tara gets a card from you that looks anything like your Niagara Gorge photos, http://gardenwalkgardentalk.com/2011/01/05/niagara-gorge-in-winter/, she will be very happy. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 6:27 pm
Carolyn, what a lovely and clever way to help Tara and her family in this difficult time. I was touched by your original post and am further touched by this one. I’ve got two cards ready to go out in the mail and I’ve sent this post to family and friends from other parts of the country and the world. Let’s hope we can keep Tara occupied while she is in that bed!
January 5, 2011 at 6:36 pm
Thank you for your support, Heidi, and for extending the message to family and friends. I better get that map in the mail. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 7:16 pm
Its very difficult for the parents to face sickness in the family especially if it happens to their child. But its such a terrible thing for a 5 year old kid to suffer and confined to a hospital bed. I know because it happened to my brother when he was 12 and at that age he was so active and full of life! Carolyn, its a great way to help Tara and easy the burden of her parents!
January 5, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Thank you for sharing your personal experience and validating what I am doing. It means a lot. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Carolyn, This is a wonderful idea. I am touched by your post and would be looking out for a suitable card to send. Best wishes to you, Tara and her family.
January 6, 2011 at 10:09 am
Thanks One. Cards from other countries will be especially fun because of the stamps. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 10:24 pm
I’d love to help, Carolyn. The cards will cheer up Tara, and her family as well. It’s so true about gardeners rallying ’round in time of need. Thanks for being one of them.
January 6, 2011 at 10:17 am
Brucie, Gardeners are a very giving group, and I am glad to be one. Carolyn
January 5, 2011 at 10:34 pm
Dear Carolyn, This is so heartfelt and moving. Of course I would love to send a card. This is very sad news. I think this a wonderful gesture . . . I cannot imagine the pain of seeing ones child suffer this way. You are a dear friend to your friend and I am honored to know you through our mutual love of gardening and blogging.
January 6, 2011 at 10:19 am
Carol, When I wrote my original post, I had no idea that it would lead to this. There must be some sort of master plan out there because if I hadn’t done the first post, I wouldn’t have done this one. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 1:22 am
You will be rewarded for being an angel to Tara. I will pray for Tara that she gets off from this confinement soonest, miracles do happen! I have a batchmate in college who has breastcancer and a first cousin, my playmate who was just diagnosed of colon cancer. He is now undergoing chemotherapy and even funds are insufficient. But God provides. God bless us. Let’s pray for one another.
January 6, 2011 at 10:13 am
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, Andrea. We do what we can and hope it is enough. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 3:20 am
This is a very touching story. I really hope she recovers and they make trough this hard time
January 6, 2011 at 10:20 am
Thanks Fer. At this time the family is waiting to find out what her projected recovery rate is. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 7:19 am
Carolyn, what a lovely idea. My card is in the mail. I hope all the cards will cheer her up.
January 6, 2011 at 10:22 am
Thanks for acting so quickly, Denise.
January 6, 2011 at 8:23 am
Hi Carolyn, I am happy to do this and so sorry at the same time. I did enjoy your post about Kartik & your experience there. I have the same ideas/thoughts/intentions as you, every day I try to focus on those positives and be intentional in my thinking. It isn’t always easy and doesn’t ‘usually’ come naturally. Thanks for sharing this. I’m happy to help & my thoughts/prayers are with their daughter.
January 6, 2011 at 10:25 am
Thanks, Jan. I don’t understand why focusing on the positive is so hard a lot of the time, but it is. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 9:23 am
I will publish this to the membership of the Philadelphia Society of Botanical Artists , and send a small picture to the girl…
January 6, 2011 at 10:16 am
Thanks for the publicity, Barbara. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 9:38 am
I’m definitely in, Carolyn. What you and the others supporting this cause are doing is proof that we gardeners have what it takes to stick together and do what we can to rally to a call for help. Your idea is going to work, I can already see Tara preoccupied with her cards and pictures!
Rosie
January 6, 2011 at 10:31 am
I can see Tara there too, and Kartik is very excited about this. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 9:52 am
This is a wonderful idea – I’m in as well! There is a movement on the web called “Let’s Drop a Love Bomb” in which people leave supportive comments for a blogger who’s in need of a “love bomb”. Does you friend Karik have a blog? You might check out http://dropalovebomb.com.
January 6, 2011 at 10:27 am
Kartik does not have a blog, but I will check out the site. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 12:27 pm
Dear Carolyn, I don’t know if your friend’s daughter has access to the internet, but there are lots of good puppy pictures she might enjoy. Google puppies. Lots are ads for sale, but there are also lots of good playing pictures. Probably also true for cats, bunnies, etc.
I’ll also send her a note.
Happy New Year, jim
January 6, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Thanks, Jim, for your idea and the note. I sent Kartik and email earlier today asking if Tara has internet access in her room. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Great idea, I have posted your post to my FB account, with a short summary..
Support is so helpful…i think we can all relate as we face aging and sickness. My sister is a 2 1/2 year cancer survivor, and her odds of long term survival are very low. HOWEVER, expressions of friendship and support allow us all to share our humanity
January 6, 2011 at 2:02 pm
Thanks for sharing your personal experience, Cassandra, and for the FB publicity. I just got back from purchasing the map and sticky stars for Tara to record all her cards. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 1:30 pm
I think this is a heartfelt request that is bound to brighten up a sick child’s day. I would be very happy to send a card.
January 6, 2011 at 3:54 pm
Thanks you so much, Jennifer, the Canadian contingent is really coming through. I might need to buy a separate map for Canada. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 2:14 pm
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Helen Johnstone. Helen Johnstone said: You help is needed to cheer up a poorly little girl http://tinyurl.com/23zzvwn all you need to do is send a card/postcard – go on its simple […]
January 6, 2011 at 3:13 pm
Carolyn, This is such a fine idea. I may see if I can find just the right book to send along to Tara, too.
On another note, I do a “Blog of the Month” feature on my blogwhere I review newly discovered garden blogs and recommend them to my readers. I just wanted to let you know that yours is one of four blogs I have highlighted this month. The post reviewing your blog just went up and your blog will be featured on my sidebar throughout the month of January. Cheers!
January 6, 2011 at 3:59 pm
I am sure Tara would enjoy a book immensely. I feel honored to be included in your “Blog of the Month” feature. I can’t wait to read it. Thank you so much, Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 5:44 pm
What a wonderful idea, I hope that she’ll receive many cards to distract her from such a trial. Best wishes to their family and to you for coordinating this effort.
January 6, 2011 at 5:48 pm
Also, I reposted it on Facebook and Twitter:
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pages/Appalachian-Feet/332443395684
January 6, 2011 at 5:57 pm
Thanks Eliza, and I appreciate the Facebook and Twitter exposure. Carolyn
January 6, 2011 at 9:26 pm
I will be glad to help. I’ll pick up a card tomorrow. My best wishes to the family.
January 6, 2011 at 9:31 pm
Thanks, Cheri, I am sure Tara would love to see lots of gnomes. I know seeing them on your site always puts a smile on my face. Carolyn
January 7, 2011 at 9:53 am
I’ll be looking for the perfect card today.
Perhaps I’ll find more than one to send off.
January 7, 2011 at 11:18 am
Thanks Linda. I am sure she will enjoy one from Washington state. Carolyn
January 7, 2011 at 10:35 am
I just sent a card from our entire group of au pairs in Bala Cynwyd, PA! With stickers.
January 7, 2011 at 11:19 am
Thanks Kathleen. That will be a very fun card for Tara. Carolyn
January 7, 2011 at 10:52 am
[…] a cause worthy of participation, Please go to Carolyn’s shade garden Your email: This entry was posted in Gardening News, Gardens in general, Our Garden and […]
January 7, 2011 at 11:31 am
This link to my plea appears in the latest post of a blogger from Aberdeen, Scotland, asking readers to participate. Wow. Carolyn
January 7, 2011 at 2:22 pm
Hi Carolyn, thanks for posting a comment on my blog! I will be sending a few postcards to Tara this afternoon. http://100daysofsnailmail.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/to-tara-day-three/
January 7, 2011 at 2:27 pm
Hi Snailmailfan, Your resolution to send a piece of mail every day for 100 days is unusual and fun. I hope you make it. Thank you for the support for my appeal. Carolyn
January 7, 2011 at 2:23 pm
How curious. I too was touched by the post of LIving more simply and have read a lot about it only to find it is so hard to actually DO IT. As I have gotten older it becomes a daily struggle especially as my post college children have moved back home! And now this most important struggle with leukemia. Our family was personally touched by this disease and as a result my world has changed in many ways…. some very positive. I hope when the family is ready they can contact the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society(LLS) http://www.lls.org/hm_lls
It was helpful for me.
ASLO everyone out there! sign up to be a BONE MARROW DONOR@ http://www.marrow.org/JOIN/
It is very easy, painless and so helpful for anyone with a blood related illness. I was a bone marrow donor and any discomfort involved was minor compared to the hope it gave the family.
ALSO: any runners/walkers who want to do a Marathon, Whole or Half or a TRI go on TEAM IN TRAINING website
http://www.teamintraining.org/
I have done 2 Marathons (walked a lot) with the help of TNT and have raised over $20,000 for the LLSociety. Most will go directly to families like Tara’s
Think about it . It’s a great way to get in shape and meet new friends(any age) and help the cause.
Tara and her family will be in my prayers. I have friends across the world that I will contact to send cards to brighten her day.
I am so glad I subscribed to your blog Carolyn. Thank you
We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.
Mother Teresa
January 7, 2011 at 2:34 pm
It is so wonderful to hear from you, Mary Beth. You have added a lot to the dialogue. Kartik is reading these comments and will appreciate your experienced advice about LLS. For me the words of Mother Teresa are very meaningful, maybe they are commonly quoted but I have never heard them before. The little drop I threw in the garden blogging ocean is growing daily as she predicted. Thank you so much, Carolyn
January 7, 2011 at 7:22 pm
Dear Carolyn, My card is on its way! Thank you so much for giving us this opportunity. My prayers are with Tara and her family. I wish you a happy and healthy 2011. P x
January 7, 2011 at 8:31 pm
Thank you Pam. My husband dropped off the US and world maps at the hospital this afternoon along with sticky stars, fun tack, and cards from us to get the ball rolling. Carolyn
January 10, 2011 at 1:33 pm
Carolyn — Card for Tara sent today from Washington, DC. I’ll echo everyone else’s comments — thanks so much for giving us this opportunity and for keeping us posted on Tara’s recovery. Thoughts and prayers for Tara and her family —
January 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Thanks for participating, Sharon. Tara will love a card from Washington DC. The cards are just starting to arrive. She got two today and loved them. Carolyn
January 12, 2011 at 9:14 pm
Wow! I would love to send a card to Tara. Thanks Carolyn for thinking of this lovely idea. A little sunshine during this tough road ahead I am sure will make a difference.
January 12, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Thanks Kim, the more the merrier. Carolyn